Two Songs

Has anyone else heard Jessica Simpson's new single, "A Public Affair?" It sounds almost exactly like "Holiday," which means I'm totally in love with it. A much, much better rip-off than "Jack and Diane."

I think my favorite summer jam so far is "Kick, Push" by Lupe Fiasco. I am very ignorant when it comes to hip-hop and will straight-up admit I have no idea who this guy is, or when this song came out. But my god, it's awesome. You know what it's about? Skateboarding. There's a ton of stings and horns, and for whatever reason, I feel like it's 1990 when I listen to it. So good.

Thinking Lady's Pinup - Number II

Richard Dawkins

Atheists are totally hot.

Bored Already

Star Jones has clearly lost her shit. I've seen two or three interviews with her this week, and in every one she's made it her mission to air as much dirty laundry as possible, and then have the audacity to end the interview with some aside about professional women not acting like children. She apparently doesn't want her firing to turn into a "catfight."

Maybe I'm crazy, but doing all kinds of press telling just one side of a story that no one really cares about is going to make you seem like a total bitch, Star. Not a very classy move. Word is she's developing her own daytime TV show. If it ever makes it on air, it will probably suck. I think she's confused about why people find her life interesting. It's not because they're fans, it's because her life is a hilarious train-wreck, and sick people like me get off on that.

Of course, Barbara Walters isn't getting away with anything. I've heard tell of a time when she was a real-live respected journalist, but I've never seen any example of that. The fact that the word "feud" has been attached to her name is delicious - there is no such thing as integrity anymore.

P.R. Countdown - Day 13

Robert Best, 36, is a Principal Designer at Mattel where he has worked for Barbie Collectibles for ten years. Prior to Mattel, Robert worked in New York for such fashion luminaries as Isaac Mizrahi, Anne Klein and Donna Karan.

Robert grew up in Utah and was schooled in New York City at Parsons School of Design where he was awarded the “Student Designer of the Year” award upon graduating. He resides in West Hollywood, California and has designed hundreds of dolls while at Mattel - including the “Best Models” collection featuring the completely new Model Muse body and off-the-catwalk clothes and accessories. Some of the other Barbie dolls that Robert has created include Millennium Bride Barbie Doll, Crystal Jubilee Barbie Doll, Billions of Dreams Barbie Doll, Wedgwood Barbie, and the Fabergé series. He has also designed such celebrity dolls as the Audrey Hepburn series, James Dean and Marilyn Monroe.

Oscar De La Renta continues to be an inspiration to Robert, whose own design theory is based in simplicity: good fabrics, classic lines, and feminine details with a touch of whimsy. “I basically think of Barbie as if she is real, and even though there is fantasy in my work, I always think of what a real woman would wear and then translate that into doll-scale.”


This guy's entire biography is about Barbie, and then he tries to throw in what he thinks a real woman would wear. Here are two examples of gowns he's designed forAmerica's Favorite Doll. Bitch please. I would be surprised if he makes it past the first cut.

Final Grade - D

Thinking Lady's Pinup - Number I

Dr. Sanjay Gupta

Kayne Gillaspie was born March 14, 1979 in Nashville, Tennessee. Growing up in a large family with five sisters and two brothers, Kayne realized at a young age the importance of standing out.

Starting his education with a full scholarship to Volunteer State College, Kayne's career aspirations began in pre-veterinarian medicine. While working at a vet clinic for four and a half years, he also took a design job as a sketch artist at a local pageant boutique in Tennessee. Kayne quickly became enamored with fashion, changed his major and transferred to the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City.

In 2002, Kayne won the Critics Choice Award for evening wear and graduated magna cum laude. He moved back to Nashville after graduation and opened Kayne's Clothing Boutique. This afforded him the opportunity to create custom ballroom dance costumes, eveningwear, and wardrobe for the country music industry.

In 2003, Kayne met his partner Warren and bought Southern Charm, an established formal wear and pageant store in Norman, Oklahoma. Within three years, Kayne's success in the pageant industry soared. In December of 2005, he dressed the entire top five teens and the winner and first runner up in the Miss Oklahoma U.S.A. pageant.

He cites Bob Mackie and Roberto Cavalli as major influences on his work. His gowns encompass originality, attention to detail and a young femininity with an edge.

Ooh, I like Kayne. Gay man moves from the south to the midwest with his boyfriend to open up a pageant store...I mean, if he hangs around long enough to tell his story, that's going to be television gold. God willing, he will have the gay southern accent that makes life worth living. Also, for those not in the know, they left out the word "Community" in Vol State College. Don't be ashamed of your roots, Kayne. Wear them with pride.

Final Grade - B

P.R. Countdown - Day 14

Vincent Libretti, 49, was born and raised in Brooklyn and Manhattan. Now living in Santa Monica, California, he recently cashed out his 401k to restart the self-named design company that he ran in New York during the 80s.

Libretti received his Associate Degree in Liberal Arts and has taken various courses in Fashion Design at the Fashion Institute of Technology and the Parsons School of Design. His passion is women’s high-end fashion and he is most inspired by the work of Alexander McQueen. Vincent responds to vitality, enjoys truth, love and subtle expression of self. He loves to create in various art forms and feels that his style carries across in all that he does.

When he’s not working on his designs, Vincent is in Santa Monica, staying spiritual, playing guitar, and spending time with his wife and daughter.

Hm, I'm not quite sure how to feel about Vincent. On the one hand, he's Jeff Conaway, but on the other hand, he likes to stay spiritual and play guitar. That's not cool. He also cashed out his 401K to seemingly relive his memories of the '80s when he has a wife and daughter to support. Hm.

Final Grade - C

Project Runway Countdown

It's better than Christmas and ten times as gay - the return of "Project Runway." Starting July 12, my Wednesday nights will again have meaning as I tune in for bitching, guest judges, bias cuts, faulty sewing machines, and overall fabulousness.

Like a good girl, I'm going to post the bios of all 15 designers (that I'm borrowing from Bravo.com) and judge them on a scale of Awesome to Failure based partly on what they have to say about themselves, but mostly what they look like. Lighten up - it's just fashion. I'll do a little more than one a day, and if you're really lucky, I might find time to wax poetic about my undying love for Tim Gunn.

Grading :
A - Awesome
B - Bold
C - Cool
D - Downer
F - Fucking Failure

It's a motherfucking walk-off.

Britney's naked brunette pregnant pictures for Harper's Bazaar are pretty good. I like the new hair, I love the airbrushing, and my mom had that necklace, I think.

She and Kevin are supposed to move to Kentwood at some point in the near future to work on their marriage. You just know K-Fed is going to cruise the Piggly Wiggly parking lot at night and buy cigarettes for high school girls.

I don't know how to feel about Britney anymore. She keeps changing on me. The Matt Lauer thing was a beautiful mess, her hair color is a step in the right direction, but I mean, she's still pregnant with another Federline child. I'm pro-choice. Just saying.

I just used spell-check. They suggested I replace "Federline" with "fatherliness." I think that's some kind of sign.

A Scanner Darkly

Robert Downey Jr. has been doing quite a bit of press lately for his new movie, and you know, considering his age and all the drugs, he looks pretty good. I'm impressed.

Too bad I'm not going to see that new movie. I absolutely hated Waking Life. Linklater - just because a process (say, animation) is work-intensive, that doesn't mean it's interesting or clever. It means that I get dizzy and want to throw up.

It seems this new film will have something big and important to say about the war on drugs. Considering everyone and their mother has seen Dazed and Confused, I can't imagine anyone not knowing what kind of message they're going to leave the theatre with.

I pretty much hate people who really love Linklater. They're almost always like That Guy in a philosophy class who has no idea what he's talking about, but adores the idea of sounding smarter than other people. Go listen to Rage Against the Machine and leave me alone.

But yeah, Robert Downey Jr is pretty hot. Well done.

Dane Cook

Dane Cook is not quite as funny as:

SS officers
Institutional racism
Abortion clinic bombings
Being an orphan
Malignant tumors
Abused children
Having AIDS
Child soldiers
Genocides
Carrot Top

What else?

The Girls Next Door

I'm not sure how I've missed this, but there is apparently a show on E! about Hugh Hefner's 3 girlfriends and the adventures they have as a part of the Playboy empire. It's not the best reality show out there (we all know that's "Project Runway"), but it's a pleasant combination of class and trash. Hef makes a few appearances per episode, but the show is really all about the girls being pretty and sweet.

Holly is by far my favorite, there's something about her that reminds me of my mom, probably the really well-done implants.

But not really.

Holly's Likes: "Being Hef's number-one girl, classic movies, designing her own clothing, party planning, dogs, Disneyland and dill pickles."

Hey Holly, I like dill pickles, too! I want us to be BFF, for serious.



Bridget is portrayed as the "smart girl," since she has a masters' degree in communications, and is working towards another in broadcast journalism.

It's a good thing she's smart, too, because as the oldest girlfriend at 31, it's likely her frolicking days at the mansion will soon be coming to a close.

Bridget's Likes: "Pizza; everything horror (including movies, books and Halloween); dressing up in ruffles, polka dots and bows."

Ruffles and polka dots at 31? I sincerely wish you the best, Bridget.


And the last lady we have is Kendra. A girl perhaps a little too eager to please, her age (20) sometimes shows more than it should. Also, Hugh Hefner is a dirty old man.

I have an inkling she may be white trash. I think it's the eyebrows.

Kendra's Likes: "Being a tomboy, watching boxing, the San Diego Chargers, the Philadelphia Eagles, barbecue and Janet Jackson."

Kendra wants to be a sports announcer. I think that's precious.

I'm sure I'll only watch this show when there's nothing else on, but for what it is, it's pretty amusing. The old-school feminist in me wants the girls to come off as exploited and depressed, but the new wave feminist in me is pleased that they're not.

Do men really find yellow hair attractive?

I Think I Want This

Buzz Ballads

Disc 1
01 Lightning Crashes - Live
02 Champagne Supernova - Oasis
03 If You Could Only See - Tonic
04 Glycerine - Bush
05 Doll Parts - Hole
06 Santeria - Sublime
07 Hemorrhage (In My Hands) - Fuel
08 A Long December - Counting Crows
09 Counting Blue Cars - Dishwalla
10 Linger - Cranberries
11 Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse
12 Runaway Train - Soul Asylum
13 Til I Hear It From You - Gin Blossoms
14 Here's To The Night - Eve 6
15 What Do I Have To Do? - Stabbing Westward
16 Out of My Head - Fastball

Disc 2
01 It's Been Awhile - Staind
02 Jumper - Third Eye Blind
03 Wasting My Time - Default
04 Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon
05 Sex And Candy - Marcy Playground
06 Far Behind - Candlebox
07 Freshmen - The Verve Pipe
08 Take A Picture - Filter
09 What It's Like - Everlast
10 Something's Always Wrong - Toad The Wet Sprocket
11 World I Know - Collective Soul
12 Desperately Wanting - Better Than Ezra
13 Angry Johnny - Poe
14 Save Me - Remy Zero
15 Easy - Faith No More
16 Smells Like Teen Spirit - Tori Amos

Ironically, I said mere hours ago that music compilations hilariously continute to exist as if CD burning were never invented. I don't know exactly which song clip made me turn my head, but I'm pretty sure it was Fastball. They weren't that bad.

Obviously not every track is a winner (Staind, for example), but a perverse part of me can't help but enjoy most of these songs. I like to pretend that I'm not ashamed of having guilty pleasures, but the truth of it is I'm probably just boring, or far too nostalgic for 9th grade.

We all know what happens to Courtney Love, Oasis, and Tori Amos. I can only hope that the fellas from Marcy Playground have nice apartments and girlfriends that love them. Probably not, though. Probably not.

How I Wonder What You're At

Star Jones is leaving "The View." Thank God, she can finally devote her time to writing more books.

I hope she stays in the spotlight, though, maybe doing some red carpet work for E!. It's very important for me to keep up with the evolution of her face, which is infinitely more fascinating than her body.

I was hoping for a Big Gay Star/Rosie face-off, but I'll take what little happiness I can get.

okay?