AmeriVision?

I don't think it's any big secret the United States and Mexico kind of hate each other. And we hate Venezuela. And Cuba. And Canada. I'm willing to bet Brazil has major issues with Peru, and so on and so on. The Americas hate one another - so do the Europes. However, while we're busy digging canals, importing/exporting drugs, or doing whatever it is embargoes do, those crafty Europeans have been fighting out their differences in a different way - the Eurovision way.

If you're not familiar, the gist of it is every year, each European country selects a musical act to represent them in the Eurovision competition, and the program is broadcast throughout the continent and voted on over the phone by viewers at home: it's kind of like "American Idol," but infinitely more gay.

How gay, you ask? Here's the UK entry for 2007.



Anyway, one group/country is declared the winner and receives...I don't know, pride, I guess? I'm pretty sure there are no actual prizes or dignity available, but it's still a brilliant concept this hemisphere should steal; my bet is Canada would enter something Québécois.

Trashley's Valentines! John Waters!

And speaking of camp...I mean, how could you think I wouldn't be influenced by John Waters? My favorite movie when I was 11 was Serial Mom, and his is certianly the kind of trash I've learned to appreciate more as I've grown older. He is who he is and he does what he does. He can make Ricki Lake and Baltimore seem kind of cool. He can make Johnny Depp star with Traci Lords & Ricki Lake. He could probably make me do anything he wanted (eat dog poo?) if he asked really nicely.

John Waters encourages you to smoke. And that's just brilliant.

Oh My Christ

I've figured out why I haven't been able to find out any good gossip - every damn TV show and website have been obsessed with the goings-on of hateful slurs on the "Grey's Anatomy" set.

Seriously; I could not give less of a damn.

It seems like they've been talking about this forever, and it's getting old. Real old. Can you imagine if there were so many magazines and blogs 10 years ago? I bet Calista Flockhart talked all kinds of shit about Courtney Thorne-Smith.

Soap Operas are Great

I don't watch soap operas, but if I did, I might watch "All My Children" because they're going to have a transgendered character (to be called Zarf!) which is awesome mostly because people think this is like, a huge step forward in acceptance of transgendered people (which technically it is), but it's also happening on the same soap opera that I believe had a weather machine at one point. Well, at least it's not the soap opera that had a rape victim marry her attacker.

Things I Missed

Two weeks is a long, long time to be gone from the World of Trash. Here's some already-old news I missed hilariously commenting on:

• The end of Reese and Ryan (Philaspoon?)
• Kramer is a racist and possibly a Freemason
• Britney and Paris are friends again
• Tom and Katie are married in Italy, though not really married because I'm pretty sure Italy (and Trashley) doesn't count Scientology as a religion; Oprah not invited
• Millions of idiots watched a football guy beat A.C. Slater on "Dancing With The Stars"
• Casino Royale rules me - and the Queen!
• And speaking of royals - Prince Harry slowly becoming hotter than Prince William
• Kelly Ripa faux-"outs" Clay Aiken and Rosie is pissed? I'm not quite sure, but I do know I loathe Kelly Ripa and her clownface.
• There is no Britney/Kevin sex tape - a nation mourns
• Robert Altman dies - Lindsay Lohan kind of bummed
• O.J. Simpson still a murderer

How busy we've been! Did I miss anything?

Boo-Hoo

Go ahead and cancel that Christmas trip to New York City, because it looks like the Bob Dylan Broadway musical is going to close.

Really, how can his songs not translate well onto stage? Sure, he may not be as fun as ABBA, as gay as Queen, or drunk as Billy Joel, but surely the man who is regarded as one of America's best songwriters deserves the right to sell out in his twilight years!

Shame on you, musical theatre-going public! Must all your loves be about orphans or Disney films?

30 Seconds to PAIN

Jared Leto reportedly assulted Elijah Wood at some awards show put on by MTV, and it is the saddest story I have ever read in my life.

I kind of hate little Elijah Wood, but who would actually try to pick a fight with him? It's so crazy I almost think it's not true, but then I rememeber Jared Leto decided to start wearing makeup and play in a emorock band called "30 Seconds to Mars" so he can continue to fuck 17-year-olds who have no idea what "My So-Called Life" was.

So really and truly, anything is possible. Hobbits.

Can't Think of a Title

So there's this show called "Grey's Anatomy" that everyone seems to watch but me. I'm vaguely aware of what a "McDreamy" is, and I know Ellen Pomeranian is funny looking; but little did I know the cast is filled with brawling homophobes.

T.R. Knight is the gay one, by the way. That means absolutely nothing to me.

I support a totally different show about doctors, a show where there's not a lot of sleeping around. There is a lot of drug use though, and occasional racism. And sexism. And constant hottness.

Here's the Thing...

I have no major issues with musicans putting on benefit concerts for shitty countries (see Harrison, George), but there's something about MySpace's "Rock for Darfur" that seems really lame to me.

Maybe it's because Insane Clown Posse is participating.

Maybe it's because "a portion" of your ticket purchase will go to OxFam.

Maybe it's because of the logo.

It's almost certianly because of the logo.

Jonathan Rhys Myers

He's gay, right?