Things I Missed

Two weeks is a long, long time to be gone from the World of Trash. Here's some already-old news I missed hilariously commenting on:

• The end of Reese and Ryan (Philaspoon?)
• Kramer is a racist and possibly a Freemason
• Britney and Paris are friends again
• Tom and Katie are married in Italy, though not really married because I'm pretty sure Italy (and Trashley) doesn't count Scientology as a religion; Oprah not invited
• Millions of idiots watched a football guy beat A.C. Slater on "Dancing With The Stars"
• Casino Royale rules me - and the Queen!
• And speaking of royals - Prince Harry slowly becoming hotter than Prince William
• Kelly Ripa faux-"outs" Clay Aiken and Rosie is pissed? I'm not quite sure, but I do know I loathe Kelly Ripa and her clownface.
• There is no Britney/Kevin sex tape - a nation mourns
• Robert Altman dies - Lindsay Lohan kind of bummed
• O.J. Simpson still a murderer

How busy we've been! Did I miss anything?