Friday, May 30

Nashville Fashion(!?) News

British-born model and Nashville resident Karen Elson has plans to open a vintage clothing store on Belmont Boulevard. We're almost a real city, guys!

She says, "I want to sell everything from vintage Kenny Valenti and rare Ossie Clarke to Valentino couture--but also cheaper vintage stuff to attract a wider audience."

Hey! I'm a wider audience! Can I have some art deco jewellery please? And some nice summery dresses?

She's married to Jack White, but you already knew that. Did you know she is an Obama supporter? Can she vote yet? I hope she can vote. Voting and fashion are cool!

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Thursday, May 29

"Stop the Music/Play the Song/And We'll Dance Together/All Night Long"

Last week, I was given Clay Aiken's On My Way Here so I could hilariously and mercilessly review it. But it is, in a word, unlistenable. I tried, so help me I tried, but I cannot sit and force myself to pay attention to the weak, faux-inspirational meanderings of Mr Aiken. With all due respect.

Instead, here's a story about him becoming a father. Allegedly. That's pretty camp.

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She's Totally Going to Blow Up that Building

You know what Rachel Ray loves even more than shilling partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages for corporations while still maintaining the pretense of being a cook-cum-domestic goddess? Showing symbolic support for Muslim extremists and terrorists, specifically in Palestine. Though it depends on who you ask, of course. The story of Palestine is by no means one-sided, and it could just mean she's a slave to retarded, ill-conceived trends.

In other news, I guess China is done with earthquakes.


I am 10,000% Positive

I have a secret confession: I'm pregnant. I have another confession: I'm a prostitute. Would it be in poor taste for me to wear this shirt from the Maury Store as an easy way to bring up the topic of my ho-ish infidelity to my abusive, drug-dealing, boyfriend/cousin? Thanks for your help.

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Friday, May 23

COMING SOON: The Adventures of Slim & Howdy

"When they met, it was like a head-on collision, though with a lot less blood and glass and hissing radiator steam. It wasn't the sort of thing one could insure against, probably wasn't the sort of thing you'd want to. Like trying to keep life from happening to you. Somewhere between impossible and a bad idea to begin with.

It all starts with a chance meeting on a used car lot in Beaumont, Texas, neither man realizing this is a turning point for both. Before they know it, the two cowboys are sharing a beat-up truck, a life on the road, and a dream of making it in the music business. But Slim and Howdy are the Odd Couple of east Texas - and all points west for that matter. Tall and inscrutable behind his shades, Slim is taciturn, cautious, and keeps everybody at a distance. Howdy's got a wild side about a country mile wide. He talks too much, drives too fast, and lays bets where he shouldn't. Slim's a pragmatist with a taste for fine tequila. Howdy's an idealist, searching for the perfect margarita. So at least they have that in common."

Stay tuned.

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Friday, May 16

Oh Wait, Wait, Hang On

Sorry I haven't been posting, I've just been watching this video for what I assume has been days. I dare you to watch it and then try to do anything productive for the rest of the week.

Pete Doherty...has somehow...won my heart.

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Tuesday, May 6

Iron Man Will Save America

So I saw Iron Man the other day and decided a couple of things:

1. It is the greatest film of all time and
2. It will Save America.

"How can Iron Man save America?" I hear you asking. Here's how: the hero is 'elite.'

Yeah, I think it's time Americans started thinking about brains and creativity in a more positive light. Tony Stark (aka Iron Man) is the epitome of elite: wealthy, handsome, charismatic and brilliant. I'm sure the money and sex appeal are grating to all the poor ugly people in the world, but who do you want building our rocket boots and flame suits? Not the guy who got his degree from Hard Knocks University, I'll tell you that. YouTube can confirm it.

I don't see how I'm stupid for wanting rocket scientists to do rocket science and heart surgeons to do heart surgery and economists to do economy stuff, Hilary.

Actually, Hilary doesn't think it's stupid either, but she thinks it's what Americans think and maybe they do. They don't tell me what they think 'cause I went to college. Anyway, if Iron Man can convince people that smart folks can solve some problems, then maybe it will save America.

Also, I'm really glad Robert Downey, Jr never died. He. Is. Hot.

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