Wednesday, April 23

new fings

For all my tens and twelves of UK readers who are, for whatever reason, really into Nashville and Nashville-related rock music news, I've added a link to a new blog called Indie Ghetto that you should probably check out. That dude knows way more about local shit than I do 'cause I'm too busy worrying about old episodes of "NewsRadio" and like, David Bowie to pay attention.

Another blog I added a whileish ago is Eat to the Beat which is show and food reviews. They are funny and rockin' and tasty and full of all kinds of integrity.

Here's an unnecessary picture of Dolly Parton.

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Monday, April 21

Bam! Don't Care.

So I was asked how I felt about Kristy Lee Cook's "AI" dismissal and it was hard for me to conjure up emotions - that shit happened like, days ago. Granted, I couldn't stand her smirky little face while it was on my TV but now that it's gone, it's almost as if she never happened. That's what's so great about reality television! I can care and not care at the same time!

There are some people who willingly exploit themselves, however, that are always fun to catch up with. For those of you playing along at home, I created a basic GiveAFuckometerâ„¢ to illustrate how important the real life of someone on TV actually is:

As you can see, my general rule is the sadder the person, the more interesting (and entertaining!) the life. "Cops" is the exception because, well, those are mostly poor people.

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Sunday, April 20

Ground Floor

So I'm watching TV and I see a commercial for a new Apatow-related comedy with Mila Kunis, some white guy protagonist who looks vaguely familiar and...Russell Brand?

Yeah, that was jarring. I became intimately familiar with Brand during my 6 months in the UK - I think it's a legal requirement. He's a comedian/actor/television presenter/author/football fan/former junkie/sex addict/sex symbol.

That kind of stuff flys over there.

Naturally, I'm excited about his appearance in America - he's wacky and endearing and British and I support these traits both in principle and practice.

I, for one, suggest we welcome him with open arms and turn this scamp into a 21st-century Hugh Grant. You should probably get on the front line of the zeitgeist now and read his autobiography, My Booky Wook.

I know, right?! How endearingly wacky! Cleaned-up crackheads are the best. But hey, don't take my word for it..."I've heard he's great," says actor Tom Arnold. "I'm anxious to see what he can do."

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Monday, April 7

More Like the WRONG Stuff!

Like all reasonable 6-year-olds in 1990, I was in absolute love with New Kids on the Block. Years of television and huffing have worn away all but the vaguest memories - a cartoon here, a poster there. I believe a branded sleeping bag was involved somehow. I don't even know how I was aware of pop music merchandising at that tender age, but aware I was and buy into it I did.

To be honest, I can't even remember all of their names anymore without the help of Wikipedia, so forgive me for not exactly wetting my pants over the reunion. No doubt they have bills to pay like all of us, and I'm not against boy band reunions in either practice or principle. I'm just not expecting their new songs to be any fucking good.

Yeah, new songs, that's how I'm judging boy bands from now on. Nostalgia and hardheadedness can excuse away many a classic track, but "Hangin' Tough" sucks and we all know it. If you want me to butter your lo-carb bread, you're going to have to pull out all the stops, my friend. Why should I pay to see you now that you're old and ugly? Chances are you're going to destroy what nice childhood memories I had, vague as they might have been. Give me something new and good, maybe we'll talk.

The Gold Standard of boy band reunions is Take That, a mid-90's Brit act almost totally unknown in he US. "Back for Good" was a minor hit, but Jesus, these guys were huge in the UK. It was kind of a big deal when they reunited (minus Robbie Williams) a couple of years ago, and became an even bigger deal when their new songs were really fucking good.

I want to get married to this song I love it so much.

It's absurd how much money they're making in Britain this very minute, from touring, record sales, song licensing, and even modelling and spokesmanship. It helps that they've actually gotten much hotter with age, something that NKOTB managed to sidestep completely.

So what we have left is this: mostly ugly dudes singing old songs that weren't that great to begin with and new songs that are probably going to suck to a bunch of people that don't really remember them that well anyway. I'm hoping your breath wasn't particularly bated.

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Sunday, April 6

Trashley Illustrates a Current Event!

Charlton Heston dead, cold.

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Tuesday, April 1


Kathy Lee Gifford is going to join the "Today" show. I don't have anything particulary snarky to add to that bizarre fact, just a couple of questions:

1. Why is the "Today" 11 hours long?
2. Kathy Lee Gifford? Seriously?

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