I'm a Bad Person for a Variety of Reasons

There have been no updates because all summer long I've been on a top-secret mission to find out what, exactly, makes Slade of various Bravo! reality programs so sexy. He's obviously a bit fame-whorey and has little more than a stereotypical interest in women but still: I am a fan. Even though his name is Slade. Cum on Feel the Noize indeed.

Here are the results of my mission:

• I like his hair
• Pretty eyes!
• Nice smile
• Good arms
• Rich?

So there you go. I consider this a summer well spent.

MY BAD

Getting ready to move overseas is like, hard and stuff. I've been really busy with banking and cleaning and boxing and throwing away things and packing and deciding which DVDs I love the most. So I haven't been blogging. Whatevs, it's just the internet, you'll get over it.

But please, don't forget to come to the Mercy Lounge this Saturday and bid me farewell. I like to dance and you like free drinks, so everyone's happy, right?

Give Me A Couple Of Days

On Hiatus

Be Back Soon.

Yeah, Well

I've had finals and papers and stuff, so I haven't been wasting much time here. However, all bets are off next week and I'mma go see Mickey Avalon!

Friday Quiz - Special Wednesday Edition

I've been having problems logging on for the past week or so, but everything seems to be in order now. To repay your perseverance, here's a special Friday quiz - on Wednesday! Up is down! Left is right! Answers in comments!

1. What is Alice Cooper's real name?
2. Who won the first season of "Survivor?"
3. Which company has recently released the Wii gaming console?
4. Which actor does not appear in Love Actually: Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, or Gary Oldman?
5. Which musician did Dave Chappelle never parody on his sketch comedy show: MC Hammer, Rick James, or Prince?
6. Madonna's song "Beautiful Stranger" was written for which movie soundtrack?
7. Who wrote the most depressing children's book ever, The Giving Tree?
8. Who does Ilsa choose in the end: Rick or Laszlo?
9. The 1980s hit song "Our House" was by what English group?
10. Where is "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" set?
11. What magazine is known for special issues like "Sexiest Man Alive" and "Best and Worst Dressed?"
12. What was Pixar's first feature film?
13. Who was shot first: Biggie or Tupac?
14. Finish the quote by Senator Ted Stevens: "The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a..."
15. Who played Marie Antoinette in the 2006 biopic?
16. Drop Dead Fred is about: a dying pet, an imaginary friend, or an Alaskan cruise?
17. What band un-ironically covered "Behind Blue Eyes" in 2003?
18. Who is the youngest Huxtable child?
19. Name the three Powerpuff Girls.
20. Who is alive: Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, or Bobcat Goldthwait?

Since U Been Gone

I decided to give myself a little blogging hiatus to focus on sleep, school, and not going blind. I've barely kept up with any sort of Trash news, and it looks like I haven't missed much. I blame one person:

Anna Nicole Smith.

I didn't give a damn about her when she was alive, and I care even less about her now that she's dead. I don't care who the father of her sad little baby is, I don't care who gets her hard-earned gold digger cash, I don't care how gross her body was before it was buried, I don't care what kind of drugs she was using, and I don't care how many laws she was breaking in however many countries. I don't care about her mother, dead son, lawyer, ex-husband, dead husband, ex-boyfriend, former personal assistant, Bobby fucking Trendy, or the random Bahamian lady who is caring for current headline and future trainwreck Dannielynnenneen.

It's all there is to read about. It's all those who are being paid to blog blog about. CNN Headline News, Fox News, MSNBC, Court TV, Us Weekly, People, Star, and so on and so forth into infinity forever. I was, am, and will continue to be burned out on the topic.

It's weird enough more attention is being paid to dead Anna than still-living Britney (who also bores the hell out of me nowadays) or Kate or Lindsey or whatever. It's almost like I don't 'care' anymore.

And if all that's not enough: "American Idol" is boring this season. "Top Design" proved to be a bust. "Lost" is wavering between superb and terrible. Hence my hiatus. I needed a break from thinking about Anna Nicole taking over my precious Trash and my television abandoning me for solid mediocrity (except you, "House." Luv.) before I'm overwhelmed by the sheer inanity of it all and I start to care about, like, the environment or something.

So. I'm going to give it a go again. I'm going to attempt to write more and quip less, and hopefully comment on awesomeness from years gone by; years ago when Anna Nicole Smith was still Vicki Lynn Whoever.

Not Gone...

...On a brief hiatus.

It's my spring break, people. I've decided to spend this time going to various doctors and eating girl scout cookies. No offense.

ha

So my hard drive totally died. I think I'll be able to get a newused one later today (for free 'cause I'm cute), but until then...I don't know what. Fuck technology. Read a book.

Ew, 2007!

So get this; London is way more interesting than Middle Tennessee, so I decided to spend most of my time DOING AWESOME THINGS and BEING COOLER THAN YOU, so that led to minimal time in front of the computer. Go figure.

Anyway, I'm back home again, and will resume regular posting some time next week. I've got some stuff to do, and my New Years' resolution was to do more things I need to do for myself rather than other people. And drink more.

In the meantime: Stupid Website Name of the Week

Dead and I'm Proud

Sorry I've been gone forever, but I was away from London during the week of Christmas. It's a way fucking better holiday in England than in America: all you do is drink, eat, watch shitty TV, eat some more, beat up Welshmen, drink, drink, karaoke, wear crowns (seriously), throw up, and finally, drink. My Christmases growing up always included driving to visit relatives, so staying in a house that's upstairs from a pub for Christmas is really the way forward in my opinion.

Seeing as how I was watching Top of the Pops 2 and Only Fools and Horses for a week, I've missed pretty much any and every bit of news (real or Trash), so I don't have that much to snark about other than James Brown's funeral.

Purple suit. What a queen.

TyTy Baby

I had promised months ago to do "Top Model" reviews and recaps, but I couldn't be bothered after the first couple. I'm sorry. The timeslot worked against it, and there's no way I could be even half as hilarious as fourfour, so I decided to pretty much not even bother.

I do, however, have every intention of watching the finale tonight. You should do the same. It's bound to be hilarous, since pretty much everything Tyra Banks touches is solid-gold kitsch.

Don't Worry!

I've got lots of Monday-type things to do today, so there will not be numerous updates about the possible breakup of Lance Bass and whoever. However, I've got a big post about VH1's "Big in '06" debacle that will go up later this evening. Rerun blogging, if you will.

Consider yourselves blessed.

Today

I'm a student. A procrastinating one. I've spent most of the day trying to bang out 10 pages about enviroment and sexuality in T.S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" and W.H. Auden's "In Praise of Limestone." As you can imagine, I've had a ball.

Frankly, nothing excited happened today and I'm sick and tired of staring at a computer screen. Sorry. Go click on some links to the right if you're interested in reading snark about the lives of celebrites - living non-poets. My favorite kind of people.

This is my current favorite song. Isn't it great?

Jolly Holiday

So I'm being super-awesome the next couple of weeks and spending all my time with a good-looking British dude (you know you jealous), and internet access is next to nil.

Deal with it.

As a celebration of all things English, here's some Mary Poppins with the world's most famous Brit, Dick van Dyke.

Well Well

Turns out the recent problems have naught to do with the tubes and everything to do with my computer.

While Ol' Shitty is in the shop, why don't you guys post some of your favo(u)rite celebrity/Trashy/slutty stories of the past week? I need to catch up.

Sorry Kids

Still dealing with internet connectivity issues.

Luckily for you I care enough to go to a library and write this little message and throw another video up.



I think Loggins is kind of hot.

Sorry Youse Guys

I've had a super fucking busy week with school, so there have been few posts going on lately. I promise to make it up to you over the weekend, because I don't plan on doing shit. Once again, I apologise.