Spotlight On: Idols I Hate

I forget sometimes just how unironic 'American Idol' is. When Kristy Lee Cook sang "I'm Proud to be an American" last night, I thought it was great because I thought it was hilarious. The judges thought it was great because...they actually thought it was great. What?

Sincerity has no place in reality TV, and this freak is Mary Sunshining her way through week after week. I like people who are in on the joke or at least know how to pluck their eyebrows like an adult.

She's so achingly oblivious her personal quote on the 'Idol' homepage is "Rope it, ride it, wrestle it, cowgirl it." What again? If she had a self-aware bone in her body, she would realise this reads like she wants a bone in her body. But no, I think she's actually talking about a rodeo. A rodeo for Jesus, no doubt, who inspires her only a little more than her horses and dog. Whatever.

Oh, and on a final note: fuck you, Kristy Lee Cook for wanting to meet John Hagee (after Jesus and James Franco), one of the most hateful people to have ever lived. I doubt you want to meet him so you can kick him in the nuts, like a person with morals would. You're an asshole and I officially have no time for you starting...now.