Wednesday, March 19

Spotlight On: 'Idols' I Hate


I sometimes feel uncomfortable about criticising people in the public eye. Ali Lohan is just a kid, Britney Spears is clearly mentally ill, and though they, and the people who sign themselves up for the 'American Idol' freakshow are, in a sense, asking for it, they're still people. David Cook is just a guy. A normal guy who clearly is a total douchebag.
There must be something innately horrible in a 25-year-old man (with a soul patch!) who intentionally puts himself on 'American Idol.' And make no mistake, this guy is in it to win it. It's not a stoner joke gone bad (cough-JasonCastro-cough), it's a sincere attempt to become...what? Rich? Famous? Credible?
Hell if I know. The vulgar pop-rock he vomits in my face week after week is by no means going to make him credible, if that's what he's after. Rock + American Idol do not work, unless you are DAUGHTRY™ and this guy clearly is not. I'm not DAUGHTRY ™ fan, but at least he's not a smug asshole who used a vocoder on a Whitesnake version of a Beatles song.
Rich? I seriously doubt it. You can do alright for yourself as Idols: hit the summer tour, go on Tyra and maybe sell some albums to housewives and 11-year-olds, but it's never going to be the coke and titties Jager life you know David Cook wants it to be. He's already too old for this shit, and if he wants success I suggest something in the IT field. He can earn some money and not be in my face at the same time!
So it's got to be fame. He is who he is and he wants us to know every cocky, delusional, date-rapey facet of his fat-faced existence. So I have no problem making fun of him. I'd make fun of him if I knew him in real life, which I basically do. We all do. We've seen him hitting on drunk girls with the line that he's a rocker, we've seen him secretly check his wallet when a black guy walks by, and we've seen him driving down the street with the windows down and Our Lady Peace way up.
Do we really have to see him on TV?

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5 Comments:

Blogger Elizabeth said...

i hope this will be a regular series. can the girl with the skunk hair be next?

2:48 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

wow, i haven't thought about our lady peace in forever!

7:07 AM  
Anonymous jennifer said...

While taking advantage once again of the cable TV in the hotel, I saw an ad for a CD compilation called something like "Get Buzzed," and it included every hairy, numbskulled, soul-patched band of the late 90s "rocking out" with their shitty hit single. Of course, Our Lady Peace was included. I think it'd be right up your alley.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Trashley said...

I think I wrote about "Get Buzzed" or something similar when I first started the blog. OF COURSE it's up my alley!

2:28 PM  
Anonymous tracy said...

You can do alright for yourself as Idols: hit the summer tour, go on Tyra and maybe sell some albums to housewives and 11-year-olds, but it's never going to be the coke and titties Jager life you know David Cook wants it to be.

This is pretty much why you're the greatest person who ever lived.

1:48 PM  

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