A Letter of Thanks
Widows and Orphans of Thailand,
I would like to present my thanks for your production of the Gap Stretch Straight Leg Pant (6 Ankle). Never before have I, a person who is of short stature, encountered a trouser crafted with such attention and care. I am able to walk around without dragging my cuffs, I am able to sit down without the waist pinching, rolling down, or lumping at my stomach, and most importantly, I look way totally cute and skinny when wearing them.
I also appreciate the denim used to make the pants - it can be either dressy or casual, work-appropriate or ready to be vomited on. The dark yet breathable fabric suits itself to both summer and winter wear, and I can honestly say I look forward to introducing my awesome new pants to many a season.
I do hope that you were adequately compensated for your superb work. If not, take heart that your husband, parents, or both have not died in vain - you have brought ass-flattering happiness to thousands of short-not-skinny-not-fat women in the world: this is a letter from but one of them.
Yours Most Sincerely,