I Am Old Now

I don't know the answers to any of the following questions:

What are The Jonas Brothers? Do they date Miley Cyrus? Are they Nickelodeon or Disney? Are they actually brothers like Hanson, or are they fake brothers like the Doobies? Do they have anything to do with Hayden Panini-tiara? Were they real or invented? Which one is the cute one? Are any of them old enough to be cute? Is there a gay one? Are they popular for real?