Trashley's Valentines! Simon Cowell!

America needs Simon Cowell.

Sadly, you and I were raised in a society that teaches children they can achieve anything in the world if they believe they can. Actually trying may or may not come into this. Every kid is destined to be a singer, a baseball player, the President, or an astronaut because if they dream hard enough for it, it's going to come true.

Bullshit. There's nothing wrong with having ambitions, but to try to make it all the way through life holding onto the delusions of a seven-year-old because your friends, family, and quality children's programming lied and said you were good enough is totally unacceptable to me and the rest of the rational, mediocre world.

Those who hunger for fame deserve the hardest fall, and I couldn't be happier Simon is around to save us from ourselves. Everyone needs a verbal bitch-slap from reality every now and then, and Mr. Cowell does his absolute best to be as honest and straightforward as possible.

Those who try to fight back often accuse Simon of loving himself more than anything: not true. Simon Cowell loves money above all, and he knows what kind of performer will earn it for him. His self-awareness of his own shallow nature is what allows him to be so disdainful of people who pretend they're above the system (on an extraordinalry popular televised talent show). They tell themselves they don't NEED him to reaffirm their belief that they're great. They KNOW they are, which is why I guess they waited in line for hours for the chance to be judged. But the damage has been done. The dream is shattered. We, as a nation, are better for it.

I'll probably never get over his questionable hair or taste in music, but those things don't matter. Simon says exactly what I'm thinking (in a nice British voice), and that's why he's my Valentine. I love those that are most like me.