Trashley's Valentines! Awards Season!

My only abstract concept Valentine (unless you count John Waters), Awards Season is the early part of every year when statues get polished, out-of-touch voters get righteous, actresses get bulimic, and E! gets hard.

Does anyone still pretend innovation and talent is rewarded? The Grammys were on a few days ago, and the only parts of it I remember were Red Hot Chili Peppers winning Best Rock Album (I guess) and the Dixie Chicks winning a ton of shit because of a sentence the lead singer said in London like, three years ago.

It's really not a big deal to me that the television, movies, and music I love aren't given any kind of recognition for the genuinely good work they produce - would I make Awards Season a Valentine if it was? No, the great thing about these shows is you can always count on celebrities to display the best of their worst. You want self-important political statements? Gorgeous gowns and jewels the rich don't have to pay for? Poorly-scripted bumper dialogue read in a stilted, self-conscious manner? Drunken veterans who don't care? Memorial montages? Oh man, Awards Season presents these treasures with pleasure.

Take in the pre-show. Drink during the ceremony. Bemoan your local affiliate's attempt at coverage. Read the blogs the next day. Buy the magazines the next week. Take in your fill, because it's all you're going to have for the rest of the year.