Thursday, July 13

Angry Caterpillars

I didn't watch "Desperate Housewives," and I'm certainly not going to see John Tucker Must Die. I'm kind of bitter I even know who this Jesse Metcalfe kid is, but I can't deny the fact I find his eyebrows fascinating.

It's not necessarily that they would be a wild, masculine face jungle if allowed to roam free, it's that they're so damn dark. The over waxing (and those are waxed) just accentuates this, making it look like someone took to his face with a fat Sharpie.

I see unibrow potential here, but since his neck oh-so-very-smooth, I don't think his brow hair would ever cross that line. It's a strange kind of vanity, like he's trying to channel Joan Crawford or Audrey Hepburn.

I'm not saying he's gay, I'm just saying he wants to be an old-fashioned starlet. I don't understand what the little girls see in him.

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Anonymous jennifer said...

Joan Crawford...toned down a bit. Good call! Apparently in Puerto Rico, most boys very neatly manicure their eyebrows. An old fling of mine plucked his eyebrows. Too much, to my consternation, I'd say. I think he liked boys as much as I do, though. Ok.

11:12 PM  
Blogger Trashley said...

Is he Puerto Rican? I'm probably being racist, the name "Jesse Metcalfe" threw me off.

I know nothing about this guy, except what he looks like in women's underwear. That trailer was harsh.

11:30 PM  
Anonymous jennifer said...

Oh, no! But you made me look him up on Wikipedia. Apparently, he is of Italian, French, and Portuguese descent. I hear they like to keep their shit groomed in BRAZIL.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Trashley said...

I'm talkin' downtown!

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...

He looks like that high school guy. Quarterback, influential suburban family, muscular, tan, wears Hollister, etc. The one who went off to college and comes back on the weekends to catch some of the pussy that he accidentally missed as a senior. 16 year-old girls think this is the guy that they're supposed to find attractive, so they overdo it and think that he is really fine. In fact, he is just another dude wearing Abercrombie and Fitch five years ago.

12:34 PM  

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