Saturday, April 7

If You Don't Agree, You Are Racist

I'm not sure if you're aware, but Indians are AWESOME. If you've been paying any kind of attention lately, they are kicking ass everywhere they go, as long as "everywhere" is film or television. To Americans, they're somewhere between "black," "Middle Eastern," and "Mexican," so not only are they the go-to tokens of the moment...they're also superhot! I've complied a helpful cheat sheet for you to study so you can throw down subcontinent knowledge on unsuspecting Native Americans.


Name: Naveen Andrews
Real Name: Naveen Andrews
Claim to Fame: Sayid on "Lost," who is currently the only character with any critical thinking skills.
Nationality: British: adds extra hotness!
Hotness Level: 10/10. He's kind of the most important thing in my life right now.

Name: Mindy Kaling
Real Name: Vera Chokalingam
Claim to Fame: Kelly on "The Office," and co-author of the play "Matt & Ben." She played Ben Affleck. She is awesome.
Nationality: American
Hotness Level: 7/10 - She's cute, but not truly hot.

Name: Kal Penn
Real Name: Kalpen Suresh Modi
Claim to Fame: Co-star of Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle and The Namesake. Look, he can do comedy AND drama! Versatile!
Nationality: American
Hotness Level: 7/10. He's pretty hot, but too fond of starring in Van Wilder movies to make him really and truly hot.

Name: Sanjaya Malakar
Real Name: Sanjaya Malakar
Claim to Fame: Preciously bad "American Idol" contestant, foil of Simon Cowell
Nationality: American
Hotness Level: 4/10. There's hotness potential in like 8 years when he's fully out of the closet, but since I'm not 13...meh.

Name: Sendhil Ramamurthy
Real Name: Um, Sendhil Ramamurthy. Obviously.
Claim to Fame: Mohinder on "Heroes," a show I don't actually watch but have been told I should. I don't have the time, though, and like, I've already made commitments to other dramas and it's too late to even get started now, PLUS, I don't think I like that Hayden girl. I know, I know, it's "better than 'Lost,'" but whatever, I think you're a quitter. Eliot.
Nationality: American
Hotness Level: 8/10. Pretty hot. But maybe he's a shitty actor. I'll never know.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Chris Wage said...

Mohinder is not so good with the critical thinking skills either. He is, however, pretty damn hot.

8:48 AM  
Anonymous john h said...

Are you leaving out Parminder Nagra intentionally? She can be pretty warm-ish..I liked her in 'Bend It Like Beckham', and once ER figured out what to do with her, she fit in nicely (I have no idea how she or the show is doing now, because I lost interest soon after she fit in)

8:59 AM  
Blogger Trashley said...

I left out a lot of people because I could only get five pictures to work. And I don't watch "ER."

9:36 AM  
Anonymous jennifer said...

Nice breakdown!

10:10 AM  
Anonymous SaraJane said...

oaky, kal penn CANNOT be deducted a whole 3 points of hotness for starring in van wilder movies...he is far too hot. i can see a 9/10. his arms look really really skinny in that picture.

6:53 PM  

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