Friday, December 19

Games to Help You Ignore Your Family!

Gotta go home for Christmas? Don't want to talk to your family? See if any of these online games give your apathy muscle a workout. 

Am I missing the point if I think this game is awesome? The premise is to keep your adorable little African family alive during droughts, civil wars, epidemics and etc. It's all about strategy - it's pretty fun to guess which disaster they're going to throw at you next, and you can always sell a family member to put a little extra money in the bank. Maybe I'm a cold hearted bitch, but maybe the developer should have thought twice before condensing the lives of the poorest of the poor into a literal fucking game. Either way, I managed to break $100,000! 

Most of the Adult Swim games are pretty fun, but Amateur Surgeon is my favorite. You save cartoon lives by tearing bitches up with pizza cutters and whatnot, and the quickly dwindling timer and blood pressure monitor keep the suspense strong and your hand steady. Bonus: if your gramma looks over your shoulder and catches a glimpse of the funny blood and guts, she's likely to grossed out and not want to talk to you for a few hours. 

The games you play when you're ready to tell your mom that you're gay. 
Let me know what games you'll be playing - everyone out there needs all the help they can get.

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