Tuesday, December 5

Oh, Gwennie

Look, I love England, too. I've been lucky enough to visit several times and have made lots of nice British friends. London is a beautiful city, and I'm looking forward to Christmas in the English countryside.

HOWEVER, not everything associated with England is perfect, and since you've lived there a fair few years now, perhaps it's time to take off your rose-coloured glasses and take an objective look at your adopted home.

Stupid things:

  • They put butter on almost any kind of sandwich
  • Hot and cold water are in separate taps, even in new or remodeled kitchens/bathrooms
  • Blackcurrant flavoured everything
  • Steep, narrow staircases (must be hard to pull a pram up!)
  • The word "pram"
  • Half metric/half Imperial system of weight and measurement. Pick one and stick with it!
  • Most pubs close at 11 pm
  • No Taco Bell
  • Sliding Doors

While I'm sure it's absolutely brilliant to be very rich and live anywhere in the world you choose, most of us poor Americans have to make do with what we have. However, until I'm destined to a life of falling down narrow stairs at 11:05 on a Friday night into a puddle of blackcurrant vomit, I think I'll be a little more appreciative of the little things here. In America.

Also: the Portugese don't speak Spanish. They speak Portugese.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous jennifer said...

Being rich is the only way I'd do the UK. There's no way in hell I could live in some partitioned-off crackerbox-sized flat. There's also no way I could deal with the NHS.

Thus, being loaded = American-style flat (see Sandy and Decky's place - ONE tap per sink!!), private health insurance, and the ability to do all one's grocery shopping at Marks and Spencer's

10:59 AM  
Blogger Todd said...

You forgot the corn! Oh Lord, the corn! It's on their freaking pizza!

11:19 AM  
Blogger grandefille said...

Sometimes I wonder how someone as classy as her mom could produce someone like that. Gah.

3:51 PM  
Blogger Vol Abroad said...

Well...the pubs can close later than 11pm as of about a year ago now.

The separate tap thing is just plain stupid.

And oh yeah, London must be a completely different experience if you're super rich!

Best thing though - is as a Southerner London beats the heck out of New York - as it's not totally fully of New Yorkers!

4:28 PM  
Blogger Trashley said...

Not all the pubs have late licenses yet, though. Probably not all want to.

They're all going to be smoke-free in a year anyway, so there won't be a point soon.

5:50 PM  

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