Are You Ready For Some Disappointment?!

Michael Jackson is supposed to perform "Thriller" in a comeback show.

Yeah, good luck with that. There's nothing quite like a near 50-year-old man who looks like, well, it's too easy at this point. The moral of the story is it will be the saddest thing the world has ever seen, if it actually happens. It's kind of like that guy who was super-awesome in high school reminiscing about just how cool he was, only now he's got a bad case of methmouth and is living with his stepmom. Oh, plus child molesting.