Hero: BEAR GRYLLS

You know how television shows try to hit certain target audiences, like "Men 18-35" or "Women 35-50?" I've always wondered if there could be a show that appeals to everyone, everywhere, from all walks of life - and I think there is. I may have found the perfect television show.

It's called "Man vs Wild" and stars a guy - no, a MAN called BEAR GRYLLS (caps lock, natch), a mountain climber/British Special Forces person/survivalist/overachiever. Basically he drops down into inhospitable territory with naught but a knife, a flint, and a water bottle to help him survive. He builds fire, makes bows and arrows, drinks his own urine, eats raw zebra meat, climbs out of quicksand and pretty much alpha males the fuck out of anyone you've ever known. That's the part of the show the men can enjoy.

For the ladies? BEAR GRYLLS talks about the wild, untamed beauty of nature. He cooks a mean piranha. He knows a lot about trees, birds, and ancient tribal cultures. He would happily rescue you from an alligator. Most importantly - he's hot. Super hot. Really really sexy and super cool good-looking. What I'm saying is I've seen him drink his own urine and I'd still make out with him.

Do you think BEAR GRYLLS would mind if I'm kind of an indoors girl? I mean, hopefully not every date would involve squeezing water from elephant dung. 'Cause that's gross. I'm sure this show has been done before, after all. I just doubt it's ever been done as sexily.